*MIGRATED FROM ANDY VS CHINA ARCHIVES*
Hello again,
Long time no type. For those few who are interested I have just uploaded two versions of current address. One is in .tif format and they other is .jpg. All you have to do is just print them out and stickytape them to an envelope. Then write my name and China in English. Fairly simple stuff. Australia post will automatically send the letter to China where they will be able to understand the characters on the address.
So you can send letters now. Also if you are interested in some form of importing/exporting scheme, this is the way to go.
So go to the 'Documents' link in the side menu and you will find the address there. Happy hunting.
Andy
*UPDATE* 01/05/2004
I have just received information that writing my name in English on the letter is not good enough for the post office. I parcel arrived for me and they though it was some kind of bomb. I am left with two options:
1. Find a scanner and upload new address, including my name in chinese characters.
or
2. Teach everyone at the post office English so that will recognise my name in English.
I think I will find the scanner. I'll get back to you on that one.
Andy
Sunday, April 25, 2004
Thursday, April 15, 2004
AVC: The Plan
*MIGRATED FROM ANDY VS CHINA ARCHIVES*
Recently I decided maybe I should stop improvising in the classroom. As fun as it was, I realized if the lessons were planned, they would run more smoothly. This is only for those who are interested. The plan shows what I am going to teach within the next twelve weeks for eleven of my senior classes. It also shows that I am actually doing work here, apart from all the drinking. Soon I will add some more in depth information on some specific classes. I also may develop a plan for my junior classes, depends on how well they behave. Hope this kills at least ten minutes of your time. Thank you Yazz for uploading it, I'll figure out this Chinese system one day.
Enjoy.
Andy
Recently I decided maybe I should stop improvising in the classroom. As fun as it was, I realized if the lessons were planned, they would run more smoothly. This is only for those who are interested. The plan shows what I am going to teach within the next twelve weeks for eleven of my senior classes. It also shows that I am actually doing work here, apart from all the drinking. Soon I will add some more in depth information on some specific classes. I also may develop a plan for my junior classes, depends on how well they behave. Hope this kills at least ten minutes of your time. Thank you Yazz for uploading it, I'll figure out this Chinese system one day.
Enjoy.
Andy
Tuesday, April 13, 2004
AVC: The Love Boat (Minus The Love...)
*MIGRATED FROM ANDY VS CHINA ARCHIVES*
After many weeks of 'planning' and cancellations, I finally made my way to the Three Gorges. I think maybe it would be difficult to describe the complete magnificence of this natural wonder. Nevertheless I am going to give it an old fashioned try.
We departed from Guanghua mid afternoon on Friday. We had to catch a bus to Yichang. This is another of those 2 and a half hour bus trips I have become accustomed to. I used this time to continue with my language training.
On the bus ride we found out that in Yichang they have some fast food restaurants like McDonalds, KFC and Pizza Hut. It had been two and a half months since I last saw the Golden Arch. So this was to be a momentous occasion. I was actually drooling for macca's. We arrived in Yichang and immediately went to a hotel to meet with our tour guide. Tour guides ultimately leads towards boring speeches. The fact that our guide practically knew no English strengthened our choice of not wanting a guide. But, she was a youngling, just starting out in her profession and we decided to give her a chance. Plus she was holding onto our tickets to get on the boat.
So with that decided we hit McDonalds with a destructive fury. A tear almost came to my eye when I entered the restaurant. Different race, same teenagers. I kid not. Same uniforms, same cheezy atmosphere (no pun intended), same dull looks on the kids face. It was the first time that I saw a clear example of how America could destroy the world's culture. But, I wiped that thought from my mind as I went to the counter and ordered my large Quarter Pounder meal. Same procedure as in Oz except for the fact that I have to order in Chinese. We consumed the feast in record time and made our way down to the port.
Nothing interesting at the port, apart from the usual staring and the occasional uttering of 'laowei' (Chinese word for foreinger.) We went to our cabin. We had high expectations of our room, because we were told it was 1st class. But of course our employer gypped us once again. 1st class my ASS!! The room was two metres wide and three metres long. It included two bunk beds and the world's smallest bathroom. One of those bathrooms where you hold the shower nozzle in your hand and wash yourself in the toilet bowl. At least it was a toilet bowl and not a squatter though. You have do be careful when you stand up though, otherwise your head might break through the roof into the room above.
Initial disappointment aside, the boat was pretty nice. We found out a bit later that this was actually a 3rd class boat. Damn that school! We went to the observation deck. Why? Because, there was observing to be done. The main feature of the three gorges right now is the number of dams and canals that have been built. We sailed past the first dam which is a kilometre wide. Fairly impressing. But then we entered the first canal. Traveling through a canal and be both very exciting and tedious at the same time. I will explain. The purpose a canal (for those who don't know) is to bring you to the same water level as that behind the dam. The water level in front of the dam is 40m to the bottom of the river bed and we had to rise to 80m. The canal can hold ten boats, so we had to wait until all ten boats arrived, one by one. Then the massive gates closed behind us and the water rushed in. We had 40m worth of water coming in.
The boat actually rose quite fast. When we were near the top I realized the canal is right next to a main road. It must be the strangest sight walking down a street seeing ten huge boats slowly emerging into view. We got to the top and were at the same level as the cars. There was a traffic jam on the road AND in the water. Then the gates opened and we sailed out onto the other side of the dam. Very, very impressive. It was about 8:00pm at night now. Then our tour guide told us that there were five more canals to travel through and that we wouldn't reach the other side until 3am. My jaw dropped to the ground. That is why I think it is amazing, but also tedious. It takes soooo long to get through.
Since we had successfully been two weeks without drinking we decided this was an opportune time to start again. On the first floor there were some other foreigners sitting there. They were probably thinking the same thing we were 'If I go up and say hello, will they tell me to piss off?' Sure its a stupid thought, but you don't go to a foreign country to see foreigners. You escape from them. Then I saw the bottle they had with them and I went and said 'Hell, I'm Andy, where did you get the Jack Daniels?' It turned out they are French. Which brought up a difficult situation. Talk with some French people and drink Jack Daniels or leave. Which would result in no Jack. I opted for the first, because we only had some bottles of fire water with us.
For French people they weren't so bad, when they weren't insulting everything and everyone.
Andy: 'I'm from Australia.'
Frenchman: 'Really? There are a lot of stupid people in Australia.'
Andy: 'Ha Ha! Yeah we sure are stupid.'
Frenchman: 'Not just stupid. Ugly too!'
Andy: 'You got us there'
Frenchman: 'Don't get me wrong Australia is a beautiful place. But everyone who lives there must have been beaten mercilessly with the ugly stick.'
A little bit of that conversation may be exaggerated, but it was pretty much what he said to me. At that point I thought it might have lo par to bring up the whole nazi collaboration thing. We got drunk and went to bed.
I am a very light sleeper, the slightest noise usually wakes me up and it takes me at least half an hour to go to sleep. Michael (the other aussie) is completely the opposite, the second he hits the bed he falls asleep. I don't know how he does it. I also do not know how he can emit those noises that sounded like they originated from the furtherest regions of the pits of hell. This was hardcore snoring. Snoring by itslef is bad, snoring with a rhythm is 1000 times worse. He would start quietly, build up to a roar and then stop breathing all together, cough and begin all over again. He has a condition where he stops breathing when he sleeps. The no breathing stage gave we a small window of opportunity to quickly fall asleep. It got to a point where I was sitting there waiting for him to almost die, just so I could sleep. It seemed the right thing to do at the time. I REGRET NOTHING!
We were awakened at 6:30 in the morning by a friendly message over the loud speakers. I thoroughlly enjoyed my 30 minutes of sleep. So I decided that I would like 30 more. But, we were scheduled to get on another boat to head down another branch of the river to visit an ancient temple/military post. I was dragged out of my bed screaming and kicking.
*INTERVAL*
We got off the boat and walked into the city of Wushan. Wushan is a large town, and it is built on the side of a mountain. Down by the dock were a number of merchants who all shout ‘HELLO!’ to get our attention to what they are selling. I ask them in Chinese ‘Do you speak Chinese, I don’t understand English.’ That’ll show them for pretending to speak another language. Michael decided to buy some cherries. If you think GST is bad you should see ‘foreigner tax’. As soon as a foreigner want to buy something they add more renminbi to the normal price. The trick is to let a Chinese person buy things for you, that way you get it for the correct price.
The new boat is one of those ones that are designed specifically for observation. Today we were sailing down ‘The Mini Three Gorges.’ This part of the river only recently became deep enough to hold a large boat. We were told a lot about how building the dams would ultimately flood the entire area. The level of the water would rise as high as 175m. All along the river you can see signs on the side of the mountain marking the height of ‘175m’ above the river bed. It was hard to judge if these were just for scientific research, or whether they were treating it like a competition. ‘COME ON WATER!! YOU CAN DO IT!!’ They said the water would reach that height by the year 2009. That means every town and city on the banks of the river will be destroyed. Which, brings to mind the question. What’s the point of building a dam to create electricity, when there are going to be no cities to give it to? Apparently there is no answer, or they haven’t thought that far ahead yet.
We began our 2 hour trip down this smaller river. It really is a beautiful place. There are high mountains covered with trees, that grow horizontally. They looked like they were hanging on for dear life. Apparently planes fly over the mountains and they drop seeds that somehow get into the rocks and start growing. This is of course to stop erosion. I can’t imagine the chances of a seed finding a place in the rock to start growing, there would not be much soil. At least they’ll have plenty of water soon. Along the way there was many ancient remains hugging to the top of the mountain, in a desperate attempt to be remembered. We saw some large statues of figures holding up flags, swords and other miscellaneous objects.
At the end of the tour hour trip, we reached a very, very small town. It appeared the only way the citizens made money was by waiting for tourists to arrive on the boats. Food and various items for sale. I don’t think it is very appetizing to eat an entire bird. They cook the whole damn thing, head, beak and feet. They also eat it all! #BLEUGH# It turned out that there wasn’t much to see here, and the whole point of the trip was to look at everything along the way from the comfort of the boat. Wish they told me that at the start, ‘luckily’ we had another 2 hours for sailing back to Wushan. With the new knowledge I knew to pay more attention outside now. I saw what they call a ‘suspended coffin’. The ancient people of the area would build very thin paths up to a deep cave near the top of the mountain to place to coffins of the richer of the people. We didn’t actually see any coffins, but were shown the area where they were. Apparently, they are called suspended coffins because, they aren’t completely on the ground. They hang off the edge of the cliff a little as well. That wasn’t nearly as entertaining as the monkeys we saw jumping from tree to tree on the mountainside. They are agile little buggers, fast too, so we didn’t see them for very long.
Back in our cabin we rested for a few hours, because we would be stopping off at another small town very soon. I’m not sure what this town was called, but it seemed a decent enough place. The reason we were there was to visit a temple/palace/guard post/astrology center. But, much to my dismay this multi functional building was thoughtfully built at the top of a steep staircase. 200 STAIRS!! Two hundred of the bastards! I was hoping they sold slinky’s at the top. Then I would go back down Ace Ventura style. ‘SLINKY, SLINKY. EVERYONE LOVES A SLINKY!’
Sweaty and exhausted we emerged at the top of the staircase to find the gate to the ancient building. Covered with characters that have little meaning to me, not being able to read them (yet). After a short rest we went on a tour of the building hearing stories of why this was an important structure for Chinese defense. Nothing out of the ordinary from what you would expect from a historical site. Statues, artifacts and a gift shop. We were filled to the brim with ancient knowledge. There was nothing left to do except go back to the boat, which meant going back to stairs. Usually going down is easier then going up. That was true in this case, but being very steep you have to watch your step very cautiously. So, I ran down the stairs headfirst.
The last night of the journey was uneventful. We merely turned around and went back the way we came. So we came back to the five canals again and endured the tedium. We got off the boat and decided to stay the night at a hotel. After all there was no point going back to Guanghua, nothing new there to see. We went to the most expensive hotel in town, walked in all dirty and sweaty and were kindly escorted out again. Who needs fine living anyway! We found a little cruddy motel tucked away in the side streets and had a place we could temporarily call home. The best part of the hotel room was that it had a spa, which was built on the Gold Coast. It took one hour to fill up with water and when you turn on the bubbles, there emerged a sulpher like smell. I sat there in room that smelt like it was hiding rotten eggs somewhere. But, I was strong. Nothing more relaxing than a spa.
Michael was in good form that night as I walked into the room to see him lying face forward in the bed wearing nothing but a pair of underwear. I lay on the couch and put a pillow over my head to block out the snores, that couldn’t do it. So I left the room and went to the Chinese teacher’s room and used their second bed. The next morning we went to do some shopping. But, both Michael and I were short of cash. Went to every single bank, but none of them would except our bank books. So no money, meant no shopping. I did still have 50 renminbi on me, so I was able to buy some cheap dvds. It’s amazing how cheap they are. I bought ‘12 Monkeys’ and the three ‘Indiana Jones’ films. It came to 29 Renminbi, which is about AUS$5. They were the real deal as well, nothing fake about them.
With that we departed from Yichang, taking with us many good memories and a few bad ones. I am hoping that I get to have many trips like this. Holidays where you go and have everything planned are dull. I like the sense of spontaneity, not knowing what will happen next. Trips where things go wrong are great! It creates challenges that you have to get yourself out of and that is how we learn. Ok, so next time you are in the area, I highly advise you to go check out the Three Gorges. It is a mixture of natural and artificial magnificence. I doubt you can be disappointed over it. Congratulations on making it all the way through this report, go have a break.
Andy Scott
Laowei Extraordinaire
After many weeks of 'planning' and cancellations, I finally made my way to the Three Gorges. I think maybe it would be difficult to describe the complete magnificence of this natural wonder. Nevertheless I am going to give it an old fashioned try.
We departed from Guanghua mid afternoon on Friday. We had to catch a bus to Yichang. This is another of those 2 and a half hour bus trips I have become accustomed to. I used this time to continue with my language training.
On the bus ride we found out that in Yichang they have some fast food restaurants like McDonalds, KFC and Pizza Hut. It had been two and a half months since I last saw the Golden Arch. So this was to be a momentous occasion. I was actually drooling for macca's. We arrived in Yichang and immediately went to a hotel to meet with our tour guide. Tour guides ultimately leads towards boring speeches. The fact that our guide practically knew no English strengthened our choice of not wanting a guide. But, she was a youngling, just starting out in her profession and we decided to give her a chance. Plus she was holding onto our tickets to get on the boat.
So with that decided we hit McDonalds with a destructive fury. A tear almost came to my eye when I entered the restaurant. Different race, same teenagers. I kid not. Same uniforms, same cheezy atmosphere (no pun intended), same dull looks on the kids face. It was the first time that I saw a clear example of how America could destroy the world's culture. But, I wiped that thought from my mind as I went to the counter and ordered my large Quarter Pounder meal. Same procedure as in Oz except for the fact that I have to order in Chinese. We consumed the feast in record time and made our way down to the port.
Nothing interesting at the port, apart from the usual staring and the occasional uttering of 'laowei' (Chinese word for foreinger.) We went to our cabin. We had high expectations of our room, because we were told it was 1st class. But of course our employer gypped us once again. 1st class my ASS!! The room was two metres wide and three metres long. It included two bunk beds and the world's smallest bathroom. One of those bathrooms where you hold the shower nozzle in your hand and wash yourself in the toilet bowl. At least it was a toilet bowl and not a squatter though. You have do be careful when you stand up though, otherwise your head might break through the roof into the room above.
Initial disappointment aside, the boat was pretty nice. We found out a bit later that this was actually a 3rd class boat. Damn that school! We went to the observation deck. Why? Because, there was observing to be done. The main feature of the three gorges right now is the number of dams and canals that have been built. We sailed past the first dam which is a kilometre wide. Fairly impressing. But then we entered the first canal. Traveling through a canal and be both very exciting and tedious at the same time. I will explain. The purpose a canal (for those who don't know) is to bring you to the same water level as that behind the dam. The water level in front of the dam is 40m to the bottom of the river bed and we had to rise to 80m. The canal can hold ten boats, so we had to wait until all ten boats arrived, one by one. Then the massive gates closed behind us and the water rushed in. We had 40m worth of water coming in.
The boat actually rose quite fast. When we were near the top I realized the canal is right next to a main road. It must be the strangest sight walking down a street seeing ten huge boats slowly emerging into view. We got to the top and were at the same level as the cars. There was a traffic jam on the road AND in the water. Then the gates opened and we sailed out onto the other side of the dam. Very, very impressive. It was about 8:00pm at night now. Then our tour guide told us that there were five more canals to travel through and that we wouldn't reach the other side until 3am. My jaw dropped to the ground. That is why I think it is amazing, but also tedious. It takes soooo long to get through.
Since we had successfully been two weeks without drinking we decided this was an opportune time to start again. On the first floor there were some other foreigners sitting there. They were probably thinking the same thing we were 'If I go up and say hello, will they tell me to piss off?' Sure its a stupid thought, but you don't go to a foreign country to see foreigners. You escape from them. Then I saw the bottle they had with them and I went and said 'Hell, I'm Andy, where did you get the Jack Daniels?' It turned out they are French. Which brought up a difficult situation. Talk with some French people and drink Jack Daniels or leave. Which would result in no Jack. I opted for the first, because we only had some bottles of fire water with us.
For French people they weren't so bad, when they weren't insulting everything and everyone.
Andy: 'I'm from Australia.'
Frenchman: 'Really? There are a lot of stupid people in Australia.'
Andy: 'Ha Ha! Yeah we sure are stupid.'
Frenchman: 'Not just stupid. Ugly too!'
Andy: 'You got us there'
Frenchman: 'Don't get me wrong Australia is a beautiful place. But everyone who lives there must have been beaten mercilessly with the ugly stick.'
A little bit of that conversation may be exaggerated, but it was pretty much what he said to me. At that point I thought it might have lo par to bring up the whole nazi collaboration thing. We got drunk and went to bed.
I am a very light sleeper, the slightest noise usually wakes me up and it takes me at least half an hour to go to sleep. Michael (the other aussie) is completely the opposite, the second he hits the bed he falls asleep. I don't know how he does it. I also do not know how he can emit those noises that sounded like they originated from the furtherest regions of the pits of hell. This was hardcore snoring. Snoring by itslef is bad, snoring with a rhythm is 1000 times worse. He would start quietly, build up to a roar and then stop breathing all together, cough and begin all over again. He has a condition where he stops breathing when he sleeps. The no breathing stage gave we a small window of opportunity to quickly fall asleep. It got to a point where I was sitting there waiting for him to almost die, just so I could sleep. It seemed the right thing to do at the time. I REGRET NOTHING!
We were awakened at 6:30 in the morning by a friendly message over the loud speakers. I thoroughlly enjoyed my 30 minutes of sleep. So I decided that I would like 30 more. But, we were scheduled to get on another boat to head down another branch of the river to visit an ancient temple/military post. I was dragged out of my bed screaming and kicking.
*INTERVAL*
We got off the boat and walked into the city of Wushan. Wushan is a large town, and it is built on the side of a mountain. Down by the dock were a number of merchants who all shout ‘HELLO!’ to get our attention to what they are selling. I ask them in Chinese ‘Do you speak Chinese, I don’t understand English.’ That’ll show them for pretending to speak another language. Michael decided to buy some cherries. If you think GST is bad you should see ‘foreigner tax’. As soon as a foreigner want to buy something they add more renminbi to the normal price. The trick is to let a Chinese person buy things for you, that way you get it for the correct price.
The new boat is one of those ones that are designed specifically for observation. Today we were sailing down ‘The Mini Three Gorges.’ This part of the river only recently became deep enough to hold a large boat. We were told a lot about how building the dams would ultimately flood the entire area. The level of the water would rise as high as 175m. All along the river you can see signs on the side of the mountain marking the height of ‘175m’ above the river bed. It was hard to judge if these were just for scientific research, or whether they were treating it like a competition. ‘COME ON WATER!! YOU CAN DO IT!!’ They said the water would reach that height by the year 2009. That means every town and city on the banks of the river will be destroyed. Which, brings to mind the question. What’s the point of building a dam to create electricity, when there are going to be no cities to give it to? Apparently there is no answer, or they haven’t thought that far ahead yet.
We began our 2 hour trip down this smaller river. It really is a beautiful place. There are high mountains covered with trees, that grow horizontally. They looked like they were hanging on for dear life. Apparently planes fly over the mountains and they drop seeds that somehow get into the rocks and start growing. This is of course to stop erosion. I can’t imagine the chances of a seed finding a place in the rock to start growing, there would not be much soil. At least they’ll have plenty of water soon. Along the way there was many ancient remains hugging to the top of the mountain, in a desperate attempt to be remembered. We saw some large statues of figures holding up flags, swords and other miscellaneous objects.
At the end of the tour hour trip, we reached a very, very small town. It appeared the only way the citizens made money was by waiting for tourists to arrive on the boats. Food and various items for sale. I don’t think it is very appetizing to eat an entire bird. They cook the whole damn thing, head, beak and feet. They also eat it all! #BLEUGH# It turned out that there wasn’t much to see here, and the whole point of the trip was to look at everything along the way from the comfort of the boat. Wish they told me that at the start, ‘luckily’ we had another 2 hours for sailing back to Wushan. With the new knowledge I knew to pay more attention outside now. I saw what they call a ‘suspended coffin’. The ancient people of the area would build very thin paths up to a deep cave near the top of the mountain to place to coffins of the richer of the people. We didn’t actually see any coffins, but were shown the area where they were. Apparently, they are called suspended coffins because, they aren’t completely on the ground. They hang off the edge of the cliff a little as well. That wasn’t nearly as entertaining as the monkeys we saw jumping from tree to tree on the mountainside. They are agile little buggers, fast too, so we didn’t see them for very long.
Back in our cabin we rested for a few hours, because we would be stopping off at another small town very soon. I’m not sure what this town was called, but it seemed a decent enough place. The reason we were there was to visit a temple/palace/guard post/astrology center. But, much to my dismay this multi functional building was thoughtfully built at the top of a steep staircase. 200 STAIRS!! Two hundred of the bastards! I was hoping they sold slinky’s at the top. Then I would go back down Ace Ventura style. ‘SLINKY, SLINKY. EVERYONE LOVES A SLINKY!’
Sweaty and exhausted we emerged at the top of the staircase to find the gate to the ancient building. Covered with characters that have little meaning to me, not being able to read them (yet). After a short rest we went on a tour of the building hearing stories of why this was an important structure for Chinese defense. Nothing out of the ordinary from what you would expect from a historical site. Statues, artifacts and a gift shop. We were filled to the brim with ancient knowledge. There was nothing left to do except go back to the boat, which meant going back to stairs. Usually going down is easier then going up. That was true in this case, but being very steep you have to watch your step very cautiously. So, I ran down the stairs headfirst.
The last night of the journey was uneventful. We merely turned around and went back the way we came. So we came back to the five canals again and endured the tedium. We got off the boat and decided to stay the night at a hotel. After all there was no point going back to Guanghua, nothing new there to see. We went to the most expensive hotel in town, walked in all dirty and sweaty and were kindly escorted out again. Who needs fine living anyway! We found a little cruddy motel tucked away in the side streets and had a place we could temporarily call home. The best part of the hotel room was that it had a spa, which was built on the Gold Coast. It took one hour to fill up with water and when you turn on the bubbles, there emerged a sulpher like smell. I sat there in room that smelt like it was hiding rotten eggs somewhere. But, I was strong. Nothing more relaxing than a spa.
Michael was in good form that night as I walked into the room to see him lying face forward in the bed wearing nothing but a pair of underwear. I lay on the couch and put a pillow over my head to block out the snores, that couldn’t do it. So I left the room and went to the Chinese teacher’s room and used their second bed. The next morning we went to do some shopping. But, both Michael and I were short of cash. Went to every single bank, but none of them would except our bank books. So no money, meant no shopping. I did still have 50 renminbi on me, so I was able to buy some cheap dvds. It’s amazing how cheap they are. I bought ‘12 Monkeys’ and the three ‘Indiana Jones’ films. It came to 29 Renminbi, which is about AUS$5. They were the real deal as well, nothing fake about them.
With that we departed from Yichang, taking with us many good memories and a few bad ones. I am hoping that I get to have many trips like this. Holidays where you go and have everything planned are dull. I like the sense of spontaneity, not knowing what will happen next. Trips where things go wrong are great! It creates challenges that you have to get yourself out of and that is how we learn. Ok, so next time you are in the area, I highly advise you to go check out the Three Gorges. It is a mixture of natural and artificial magnificence. I doubt you can be disappointed over it. Congratulations on making it all the way through this report, go have a break.
Andy Scott
Laowei Extraordinaire
Thursday, April 08, 2004
AVC: The Failed Phoebe Journey.
*MIGRATED FROM ANDY VS CHINA ARCHIVES AND COMPILED FROM SEVERAL POSTS*
Phoebe: 08/04/2004 -
AAARRRR it be good to hear from ye, Capt'n!
me deepest apologies for not sending a pigeon sooner but thar be much
procrastinatin' (long word for a pirate huh? ;)) for me to be doin. uni be
havin me swamped but i shall ne'er give in!!
*sigh* it seems i've been watching too much johnny depp.
aye, it be good to hear from ye, i've been missin ya greatly too. i dont
really know what's been happening to all my time, i used to have so much. i
only have uni 2 days a week so the rest is spent working, driving (badly),
procrastinating and partying but unfortunately there's not alot of sleeping
or eating, i seem to have gone off both recently. the craving for them will
come back though, i just need a good long stint at the beach (on me very own
priate ship..or in a tiny apartment, whatever i can get my hands on really).
i'm 18 in 6 days :>. and my papa might be coming up to brisvegas in a couple
of days to celebrate with me *fingers crossed*. got to go out for dinner
with family, then go on a pub crawl my nearest and dearest (minus you of
course :( i'll be thinking of you) and anyone else we pick up along the way.
that's an invitation to anyone else who'd reading this, it'll be this
wednesday night, i'll send more details when i work out what's happening. we
will possibly be traveling in some sort of pirate ship....we're still
working on this.
tanzih's got herself a lovely bf, a russian boy called Grisha. he's very
smart too, tis a pity he's white.
.....
mama just told me that she's sending me to China to visit you. i cried: so
so happy :>.when would be a good time? i have a feeling i get holidays in
june/july, are yours then too?
i'm so excited i can't write so i'll sign off and hopefully i'll be seeing
you in a couple of months :>.
lotsa love baby
phoebe
Andy: 08/04/2004 -
Wow! My first message from an actual pirate. It's an honour.
I've had my Johnny cravings too. *swoon* Though I did download 'Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.' That should tide me over until I get Pirates of the Carribean.
That sounds like a really good schedule you have there. I would even go as far as to describe it as being perfect. THE ULTIMATE EVEN!!! Small things seem to excite me nowadays.
Still going with those driving lessons? At least you have now upgraded from driving awfully to badly, since last I heard. I'm with you on that sleeping and eating thing. I've told a few people of my realization that I actually can't cook. I have an entire room, its only use, the boiling of noodles. Some traditions will never die. Luckily I am going to have some cooking lessons. Chinese food is quite possibly the best tasting food in the world, so it wouldn't be bad to know how to cook it properly. As for sleep...well that may never happen.
18 in 6 days. Am I really that old? You're still seventeen and I'm going on 21. *sigh* Best not to think about it. I hope all of you will support Phoebe on her plan for a pub crawl. I'm sure some of you could use some time to get out of home and have a drink or ten. It sounds like a good plan to me. I'll place a candle in a beer that night to celebrate the occasion for you Phoebe. I hope your dad will be able to make it.
You're coming to China! That is excellent news. My holidays begin in July and go right through into August. But that doesn't mean you can't come in June if that is when your holidays are. You can take over some of my classes. Please do. :) Find out when you can go and I'll get all the information for you that you'll need. This news has made my day, thank you. Send Mama my deep thanks as well. Talk to you soon bud!
Andy :)
Phoebe: 09/04/2004 -
To my foreign friend,
ok, now that the initial excitement is over (i spent the majority of
yesterday laughing, crying and jumping off furniture with the occasional fag
to calm me down. then i went to a party, jumped around some more and played
word and song association games for 4 hours with amarat, zih and grisha,
much fun!), its time for details. where is it that u are exactly? my
holidays start june 26 and i go back july 26 (please, someone correct me if
those dates are wrong). i'm going to fill out my passport aplication today
and hopefully wont have all the trouble you did...but you can never be sure.
what vaccinations do i need to get? thats kinda scary, i've never had any b4
:S. hhmm, overseas travel, its a new experience.
what else...airfare, general living expences, place to stay, will i be
staying with you or do i need to get a hotel room for a month? what will the
weather be like? are the people nice or do i need to bring mace? is mace
available there in case i run out? does your city have an airport? or will i
be catching a bus or train from wherever i land? i will need to stock up on
film for my camera and get a chinese phrase book: "where is the bus stop?"
"can i have some of your candy?" etc.
um.....if there's anything i've forgotten to ask which i'm sure there is,
please let me know and if you have a phone number that would probably be
helpful too.
missing you lots, but not for long :>
love phoebe
ps. have you found a suitable wife yet?
Andy: 12/04/2004 -
Ok, I will tell you all you need to know. How to avoid the crap I went through to get here.
Things you will need to do/get:
Important: -
Passport - Your passport will probably be valid for 30 days. That's how long mine lasted for. (I actually spent a few weeks as an illegal immigrant before I got my work visa. Not a bad experience.)
Injections - I do not think you will have to get the eight needles I got. The important one to get in Hepititis A & B. You can both of these in one injection. So you will only need three needles. And since it's a while until June, you can get one every few weeks. I think those were the ones that didn't hurt. Can't quite remember. Either way the pain is only for five seconds, no biggie.
Those are two most important ones. Everything else is up to you. Some useful tips... When you get your plane tickets make sure all the boarding passes are there. I of course got to Hong Kong with no boarding passes to enter China. QANTAS must have been out of paper and thought it wouldn't matter if I didn't have them. And of course I was on the last plane so all the offices closed when I got there, so I slept in a chair. The procedure of getting new boarding passes two hours before your flight leaves is not a pleasant one. So I seriously advise you check that. Or you will find out what I am talking about. Also don't carry cork screw bottle openers in your carry on bag. *Sorry Mum, it was a mistake*
Apart from that it is all elementary. You won't need to bring a phrasebook, you can use my one. By the time you arrive here, I should know enough Mandarin to take you around. The important thing is to think of items you could not live without and then just assume they don't have them here. Deoderant is probably the biggest one. If you are planning on drinking there are only three types of alcohol you can get, beer, red wine and the almighty firewater of 56%. So you might want to consider that as well. There are plenty of vegetarian meals here, but I would suggest not going near the markets if you don't like dead animals or animals that will soon be the opposite of living.
Where you live is up to you. You can stay here at my place or stay at the hotel. I have two beds so it won't matter. The living expenses are very reasonable. Food is cheap, excitement is cheap (but limited) and there is always room for haggling. I wouldn't use the mace that will only make them mad. Best to bring some sort of crossbow that shoots fire. The people are very nice, just expect to be stared at every waking moment of the day. The only problem is that they have developed a fetish for stealing bicycles. If you don't have one you will be fine. Keep a close eye on your wallet as well. They're sneaky bastards.
You can pretty much do all the important things here. So if you plan to leave around the end of June/July you can come to the school and see what I do and take over if you want. I can go and have a smoke then :) We can then stay here for a few days and if you want we can go travelling for the rest of the time. I'm sure there are some things in China you might like to see and if you never get another chance to come back, may as well see them now. Once again it is up to you, I have a bit of money I'm saving up to go travelling at some point, I can wait until you arrive to do so.
As for the city I live is in, it is called Guanghua. But, that doesn't matter, I talked with the school and we'll be coming to pick you up from the airport. You need to catch a plane to Wuhan. It is the capital of the province I am in, Hubei. Let me know what day and time you will be arriving and I'll do the rest. If there is anything you need we can buy it in Wuhan while we are there. So if you can try to arrive there earlyish in the morning.
Ok, if there is anything else you need to know. Just send me a message. Looking foward to seeing you bud!
Andy
Phoebe: 18/04/2004 -
hey andy dear,
well the holidays are over and we're back at uni tomorrow *sigh*. i'm
currently researching what bastards we were (are...) to the Aborigines since
we settled here in 1788; what a bitch Judy Magub is to Ziggy our beloved
Toowong Bagman; and a number of glorious institutions that contribute to the
well-being of rich, vibrant Australian society ie The Australian Army cadets
(ACC).
but apart from that i've been having a wonderful time with my ID card :P. i
caught up with trishy the other night and went out with the ol' crew. i went
to my first strip club, bad girls......they looked so bored....and young :(.
'twas a sleazy place to be sure. leah will be of age in a few days and zih
... will be waiting a while, but its not too far away. we will possibly not
be taking them to said strip club.
i'll be booking my flight pretty soon, it'll cost about $1600, including the
flight from Shanghai to Wuhan and i'll let you know when i have the dates.
enough about me. whatcha been up to since i last heard from you, u havnt
written in a while.
talk to you soon babe
Love The Pie
Andy: 18/04/2004 -
Hey Phoebs,
Who's doing what now? Ziggy? Judy? Batman?
I think I may have completely missed the whole message. Let me read it again...
Ok! Now I get it. You are reading a bunch of stuff that relates to a number of different topics. I thought that was one sentence. Could make a good story though!
I could imagine stripping would be quite a repetitive job, doing the same work every night. Good money though, if this teaching job ever falls through, I'll have something to fall back on...
$1600 sounds about right. You get to stop in Shanghai!! Wow! I can't wait to see that city. It is supposed to be spectacular. Yes, thatwould be excellent if you could tell me the dates.
What have I been up to? It has been a very relaxing week. Had a lot of time off, because of exams. They didn't need me there. Then on Friday Lucy and another foriegn teacher from England came to visit. They left earlier today (Sunday). We had a pretty good time, whilst doing very little. We watched Chicago, which I really liked the first time, but was pretty mediocre the second time. Oh well. Some Black Books as well. Went to Qianjiang and had some pizza, I hope one day they develop a home delivery system. 45 minutes is a long way to travel for pizza. But, it definately was worth the trip.
Apart from that, added some new private classes to my schedule. So now I do 24 classes a week. Not bad. I think anymore than that and I could have a nervous breakdown. That could be nice...
Andy
Phoebe: 10/05/2004 -
all booked up baby :>
i'm flying out of brissy at 11:55pm on July 3, arriving in singapore at
5:45am, leaving singapore at 8:30am, arriving in hong kong at 12:15pm,
departing from hong kong at 3:55pm and arriving at wuhan airport at 5:45pm
on July 4.
then on august 1 i'm departing from wuhan at 6:45pm...... the rest u dont
have to worry about, it takes too long to type out. i have an overnight in
hong kong on the way back!! its gonna be so much fun...the drive from the
airport to the hotel.....the sleeping in the hotel....the drive from the
hotel back to the airport.......possibly some touristy activity if i have
time b4 my flight out of there in morning.
passport is underway and currently chasing up insurance, visa, vaccinations
n stuff
on a completely different note, i have a new phone. for ne one reading this
who doesnt know, my number is 1401 927 538. i lost so many numbers :(. andy
can u tell urs again?
whats the weather like in july?
miss ya heaps baby,
lotsa love, phoebe
Andy: 11/05/2004 -
Brilliant.
We will be there to pick you up July 4th then. at 5:45pm. You couldn't possibly come at a worst hour. That's feast time. I'll try to hold them off, so that they don't force feed you an entire steer.
You have an overnight stay in Hong Kong? mua ha ha ha ha. Enjoy those comfortable airport seats. I found if you bend yourself in half and have your head hanging over the back of the seat...no, no, it's still freaking uncomfortable. But, it was considerably cheaper than staying at the hotel.
If you want any info about organizing it, then give me a message. I'll tell you what I can.
Concerning the weather, I obviously haven't been here in July before, so I haven't personally experienced it yet. But, I've been told its quite stinking hot. About the same as Australia. So we will need to escape to northern China and live in the snow. But, with our luck there will be a freak heatwave up there. Have to wait and see.
Keep me updated bud, looking foward to see you.
Andy
Phoebe: 08/04/2004 -
AAARRRR it be good to hear from ye, Capt'n!
me deepest apologies for not sending a pigeon sooner but thar be much
procrastinatin' (long word for a pirate huh? ;)) for me to be doin. uni be
havin me swamped but i shall ne'er give in!!
*sigh* it seems i've been watching too much johnny depp.
aye, it be good to hear from ye, i've been missin ya greatly too. i dont
really know what's been happening to all my time, i used to have so much. i
only have uni 2 days a week so the rest is spent working, driving (badly),
procrastinating and partying but unfortunately there's not alot of sleeping
or eating, i seem to have gone off both recently. the craving for them will
come back though, i just need a good long stint at the beach (on me very own
priate ship..or in a tiny apartment, whatever i can get my hands on really).
i'm 18 in 6 days :>. and my papa might be coming up to brisvegas in a couple
of days to celebrate with me *fingers crossed*. got to go out for dinner
with family, then go on a pub crawl my nearest and dearest (minus you of
course :( i'll be thinking of you) and anyone else we pick up along the way.
that's an invitation to anyone else who'd reading this, it'll be this
wednesday night, i'll send more details when i work out what's happening. we
will possibly be traveling in some sort of pirate ship....we're still
working on this.
tanzih's got herself a lovely bf, a russian boy called Grisha. he's very
smart too, tis a pity he's white.
.....
mama just told me that she's sending me to China to visit you. i cried: so
so happy :>.when would be a good time? i have a feeling i get holidays in
june/july, are yours then too?
i'm so excited i can't write so i'll sign off and hopefully i'll be seeing
you in a couple of months :>.
lotsa love baby
phoebe
Andy: 08/04/2004 -
Wow! My first message from an actual pirate. It's an honour.
I've had my Johnny cravings too. *swoon* Though I did download 'Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.' That should tide me over until I get Pirates of the Carribean.
That sounds like a really good schedule you have there. I would even go as far as to describe it as being perfect. THE ULTIMATE EVEN!!! Small things seem to excite me nowadays.
Still going with those driving lessons? At least you have now upgraded from driving awfully to badly, since last I heard. I'm with you on that sleeping and eating thing. I've told a few people of my realization that I actually can't cook. I have an entire room, its only use, the boiling of noodles. Some traditions will never die. Luckily I am going to have some cooking lessons. Chinese food is quite possibly the best tasting food in the world, so it wouldn't be bad to know how to cook it properly. As for sleep...well that may never happen.
18 in 6 days. Am I really that old? You're still seventeen and I'm going on 21. *sigh* Best not to think about it. I hope all of you will support Phoebe on her plan for a pub crawl. I'm sure some of you could use some time to get out of home and have a drink or ten. It sounds like a good plan to me. I'll place a candle in a beer that night to celebrate the occasion for you Phoebe. I hope your dad will be able to make it.
You're coming to China! That is excellent news. My holidays begin in July and go right through into August. But that doesn't mean you can't come in June if that is when your holidays are. You can take over some of my classes. Please do. :) Find out when you can go and I'll get all the information for you that you'll need. This news has made my day, thank you. Send Mama my deep thanks as well. Talk to you soon bud!
Andy :)
Phoebe: 09/04/2004 -
To my foreign friend,
ok, now that the initial excitement is over (i spent the majority of
yesterday laughing, crying and jumping off furniture with the occasional fag
to calm me down. then i went to a party, jumped around some more and played
word and song association games for 4 hours with amarat, zih and grisha,
much fun!), its time for details. where is it that u are exactly? my
holidays start june 26 and i go back july 26 (please, someone correct me if
those dates are wrong). i'm going to fill out my passport aplication today
and hopefully wont have all the trouble you did...but you can never be sure.
what vaccinations do i need to get? thats kinda scary, i've never had any b4
:S. hhmm, overseas travel, its a new experience.
what else...airfare, general living expences, place to stay, will i be
staying with you or do i need to get a hotel room for a month? what will the
weather be like? are the people nice or do i need to bring mace? is mace
available there in case i run out? does your city have an airport? or will i
be catching a bus or train from wherever i land? i will need to stock up on
film for my camera and get a chinese phrase book: "where is the bus stop?"
"can i have some of your candy?" etc.
um.....if there's anything i've forgotten to ask which i'm sure there is,
please let me know and if you have a phone number that would probably be
helpful too.
missing you lots, but not for long :>
love phoebe
ps. have you found a suitable wife yet?
Andy: 12/04/2004 -
Ok, I will tell you all you need to know. How to avoid the crap I went through to get here.
Things you will need to do/get:
Important: -
Passport - Your passport will probably be valid for 30 days. That's how long mine lasted for. (I actually spent a few weeks as an illegal immigrant before I got my work visa. Not a bad experience.)
Injections - I do not think you will have to get the eight needles I got. The important one to get in Hepititis A & B. You can both of these in one injection. So you will only need three needles. And since it's a while until June, you can get one every few weeks. I think those were the ones that didn't hurt. Can't quite remember. Either way the pain is only for five seconds, no biggie.
Those are two most important ones. Everything else is up to you. Some useful tips... When you get your plane tickets make sure all the boarding passes are there. I of course got to Hong Kong with no boarding passes to enter China. QANTAS must have been out of paper and thought it wouldn't matter if I didn't have them. And of course I was on the last plane so all the offices closed when I got there, so I slept in a chair. The procedure of getting new boarding passes two hours before your flight leaves is not a pleasant one. So I seriously advise you check that. Or you will find out what I am talking about. Also don't carry cork screw bottle openers in your carry on bag. *Sorry Mum, it was a mistake*
Apart from that it is all elementary. You won't need to bring a phrasebook, you can use my one. By the time you arrive here, I should know enough Mandarin to take you around. The important thing is to think of items you could not live without and then just assume they don't have them here. Deoderant is probably the biggest one. If you are planning on drinking there are only three types of alcohol you can get, beer, red wine and the almighty firewater of 56%. So you might want to consider that as well. There are plenty of vegetarian meals here, but I would suggest not going near the markets if you don't like dead animals or animals that will soon be the opposite of living.
Where you live is up to you. You can stay here at my place or stay at the hotel. I have two beds so it won't matter. The living expenses are very reasonable. Food is cheap, excitement is cheap (but limited) and there is always room for haggling. I wouldn't use the mace that will only make them mad. Best to bring some sort of crossbow that shoots fire. The people are very nice, just expect to be stared at every waking moment of the day. The only problem is that they have developed a fetish for stealing bicycles. If you don't have one you will be fine. Keep a close eye on your wallet as well. They're sneaky bastards.
You can pretty much do all the important things here. So if you plan to leave around the end of June/July you can come to the school and see what I do and take over if you want. I can go and have a smoke then :) We can then stay here for a few days and if you want we can go travelling for the rest of the time. I'm sure there are some things in China you might like to see and if you never get another chance to come back, may as well see them now. Once again it is up to you, I have a bit of money I'm saving up to go travelling at some point, I can wait until you arrive to do so.
As for the city I live is in, it is called Guanghua. But, that doesn't matter, I talked with the school and we'll be coming to pick you up from the airport. You need to catch a plane to Wuhan. It is the capital of the province I am in, Hubei. Let me know what day and time you will be arriving and I'll do the rest. If there is anything you need we can buy it in Wuhan while we are there. So if you can try to arrive there earlyish in the morning.
Ok, if there is anything else you need to know. Just send me a message. Looking foward to seeing you bud!
Andy
Phoebe: 18/04/2004 -
hey andy dear,
well the holidays are over and we're back at uni tomorrow *sigh*. i'm
currently researching what bastards we were (are...) to the Aborigines since
we settled here in 1788; what a bitch Judy Magub is to Ziggy our beloved
Toowong Bagman; and a number of glorious institutions that contribute to the
well-being of rich, vibrant Australian society ie The Australian Army cadets
(ACC).
but apart from that i've been having a wonderful time with my ID card :P. i
caught up with trishy the other night and went out with the ol' crew. i went
to my first strip club, bad girls......they looked so bored....and young :(.
'twas a sleazy place to be sure. leah will be of age in a few days and zih
... will be waiting a while, but its not too far away. we will possibly not
be taking them to said strip club.
i'll be booking my flight pretty soon, it'll cost about $1600, including the
flight from Shanghai to Wuhan and i'll let you know when i have the dates.
enough about me. whatcha been up to since i last heard from you, u havnt
written in a while.
talk to you soon babe
Love The Pie
Andy: 18/04/2004 -
Hey Phoebs,
Who's doing what now? Ziggy? Judy? Batman?
I think I may have completely missed the whole message. Let me read it again...
Ok! Now I get it. You are reading a bunch of stuff that relates to a number of different topics. I thought that was one sentence. Could make a good story though!
I could imagine stripping would be quite a repetitive job, doing the same work every night. Good money though, if this teaching job ever falls through, I'll have something to fall back on...
$1600 sounds about right. You get to stop in Shanghai!! Wow! I can't wait to see that city. It is supposed to be spectacular. Yes, thatwould be excellent if you could tell me the dates.
What have I been up to? It has been a very relaxing week. Had a lot of time off, because of exams. They didn't need me there. Then on Friday Lucy and another foriegn teacher from England came to visit. They left earlier today (Sunday). We had a pretty good time, whilst doing very little. We watched Chicago, which I really liked the first time, but was pretty mediocre the second time. Oh well. Some Black Books as well. Went to Qianjiang and had some pizza, I hope one day they develop a home delivery system. 45 minutes is a long way to travel for pizza. But, it definately was worth the trip.
Apart from that, added some new private classes to my schedule. So now I do 24 classes a week. Not bad. I think anymore than that and I could have a nervous breakdown. That could be nice...
Andy
Phoebe: 10/05/2004 -
all booked up baby :>
i'm flying out of brissy at 11:55pm on July 3, arriving in singapore at
5:45am, leaving singapore at 8:30am, arriving in hong kong at 12:15pm,
departing from hong kong at 3:55pm and arriving at wuhan airport at 5:45pm
on July 4.
then on august 1 i'm departing from wuhan at 6:45pm...... the rest u dont
have to worry about, it takes too long to type out. i have an overnight in
hong kong on the way back!! its gonna be so much fun...the drive from the
airport to the hotel.....the sleeping in the hotel....the drive from the
hotel back to the airport.......possibly some touristy activity if i have
time b4 my flight out of there in morning.
passport is underway and currently chasing up insurance, visa, vaccinations
n stuff
on a completely different note, i have a new phone. for ne one reading this
who doesnt know, my number is 1401 927 538. i lost so many numbers :(. andy
can u tell urs again?
whats the weather like in july?
miss ya heaps baby,
lotsa love, phoebe
Andy: 11/05/2004 -
Brilliant.
We will be there to pick you up July 4th then. at 5:45pm. You couldn't possibly come at a worst hour. That's feast time. I'll try to hold them off, so that they don't force feed you an entire steer.
You have an overnight stay in Hong Kong? mua ha ha ha ha. Enjoy those comfortable airport seats. I found if you bend yourself in half and have your head hanging over the back of the seat...no, no, it's still freaking uncomfortable. But, it was considerably cheaper than staying at the hotel.
If you want any info about organizing it, then give me a message. I'll tell you what I can.
Concerning the weather, I obviously haven't been here in July before, so I haven't personally experienced it yet. But, I've been told its quite stinking hot. About the same as Australia. So we will need to escape to northern China and live in the snow. But, with our luck there will be a freak heatwave up there. Have to wait and see.
Keep me updated bud, looking foward to see you.
Andy
AVC: Buy Viagra Now!!
*MIGRATED FROM ANDY VS CHINA ARCHIVES*
Good morning,
If you go to check your Email a lot, there is no doubt you will recieve messages like this on a daily basis:
"Buy Viagra or Cialas Aka "Super Viagra"..The Viagra that last all weekend!..
and other good prescriptions....Save big on this site check it out.. Next-Day
Fedex ...
http://0f2an73yv0.absoluterxchoice.com?rid=1000
u shit sweety should that truthfully like will want the is the self is
me where products believe it this make ever meds this miss this is should
later the later we is u meds truthfully sweety best is tellin happen is
tellin all thing for peace what saw later peace is sweety is where happen
sweety them for best the Love better shit be of best this i am need products
is that should man catch will should best at the life u Don't saw in u
told man truthfully . thing is miss . is meds things is best"
Well I thought it was about time I should finally reply to one of these messages and find out what the deal is, here is the response I sent to the 'professional' medical supplier:
Good day,
Is there something about my penis you guys aren't telling me. I've been receiving this message now every day for the last four months. I must have a serious problem and you know it. It's a good thing there are people like you out there on the internet to point out my inefficiencies. You seem to be sending the message to everyone with 'eddie' in their username. Does that mean that having the name 'eddie', translates to having a weak penis. Surely, there must be some exception out there. Because, eddie is not my real name. It's Rocky, and I have an impressive penis, I can break through walls as some of the other Emails I've received have invited me to do.
Ok, well now that I have updated you on the situation of my penis, I don't think it is necessary for you to keep sending me Emails about those drugs. But, thank you for thinking of me. I will remember this forever.
P.S. - Would you like to buy some space on the internet. Prime internet reality. Only $60.99 a month. I guarantee that this is the cheapest offer on the whole internet. You now have the ROCKY GUARANTEE.
From,
Rocky Montana
All I have to do now is await a response. I really am curious if the people who send the junk mail actually recieve some themselves. Maybe I'll ask one of the people who keep sending me holiday offers.
Talk to you soon.
Rocky Montana
Good morning,
If you go to check your Email a lot, there is no doubt you will recieve messages like this on a daily basis:
"Buy Viagra or Cialas Aka "Super Viagra"..The Viagra that last all weekend!..
and other good prescriptions....Save big on this site check it out.. Next-Day
Fedex ...
http://0f2an73yv0.absoluterxchoice.com?rid=1000
u shit sweety should that truthfully like will want the is the self is
me where products believe it this make ever meds this miss this is should
later the later we is u meds truthfully sweety best is tellin happen is
tellin all thing for peace what saw later peace is sweety is where happen
sweety them for best the Love better shit be of best this i am need products
is that should man catch will should best at the life u Don't saw in u
told man truthfully . thing is miss . is meds things is best"
Well I thought it was about time I should finally reply to one of these messages and find out what the deal is, here is the response I sent to the 'professional' medical supplier:
Good day,
Is there something about my penis you guys aren't telling me. I've been receiving this message now every day for the last four months. I must have a serious problem and you know it. It's a good thing there are people like you out there on the internet to point out my inefficiencies. You seem to be sending the message to everyone with 'eddie' in their username. Does that mean that having the name 'eddie', translates to having a weak penis. Surely, there must be some exception out there. Because, eddie is not my real name. It's Rocky, and I have an impressive penis, I can break through walls as some of the other Emails I've received have invited me to do.
Ok, well now that I have updated you on the situation of my penis, I don't think it is necessary for you to keep sending me Emails about those drugs. But, thank you for thinking of me. I will remember this forever.
P.S. - Would you like to buy some space on the internet. Prime internet reality. Only $60.99 a month. I guarantee that this is the cheapest offer on the whole internet. You now have the ROCKY GUARANTEE.
From,
Rocky Montana
All I have to do now is await a response. I really am curious if the people who send the junk mail actually recieve some themselves. Maybe I'll ask one of the people who keep sending me holiday offers.
Talk to you soon.
Rocky Montana
Sunday, April 04, 2004
AVC: Snow White Needs A Shave
*MIGRATED FROM ANDY VS CHINA ARCHIVES*
Starting last week I gave some of my students a new task to write an original story and then they had to perform it in groups. They only had one week to do so, which is very hard to do for most people. Let alone people whose English is not up to scratch. But, I was pleasantly surprised at the results. Basically, what most of them did was take an old story and change the plot. Which worked very well!
One group took the Spider-man story and changed him into the feirce and almightly SNAKE-FACE MAN!! This is story of a man who was bitten by a radioactive snake and got great snake powers. Including the power to have no arms and legs and squirm around after villains. Criminals watch out! Snake-Face Man may slither after you. In the end it turned out that the police took care of the crooks and Snake-Face Man's wallet was stolen. We had a good time with this one and I even got to make a cameo appearance as one of the policemen.
Another group adapted the characters of Harry Potter (which is immensely popular here) and had a story about a birthday party. They made a cake appear out of nowhere and sat down and gave a lesson about sharing. THE RESULT: I ate all the cake. mua ha ha ha!!
The best story I have seen so far is where one group combined the story of Snow White and Cinderella. We see the main character the beautiful Snow White, who was played by a tall chinese teenager in a dress. He was hunched over, carrying a basket, skipping clumsily and had not shaved for a few days. Snow White said in her beautiful, deep voice "I like the apple very much, oh, I am poison-ed" Faint. The guy actually hit his head against a wall as he fell and he passed out for a few minutes. So the realism was fantastic. Prince Charming was also played by a girl. "Snow White, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen." Snow: "THANK YOU!! KISS ME!!" Laughed my ass off over this one.
So anyway thats what I do for a living. I'll keep you updated on the plays as they happen. I'll bring my camera next time I think. Maybe I can start a stage show of not so attractive transvestites.
Later, from the almighty director of amateurish productions.
Andy
COMMENTS:
Harry: 04/04/2004 -
Andy,
This sounds like a lot of fun.
Are the traditional fairy stories already known there - or are they part of the curriculum material?
By the way our email is back up as you probably would have guessed.
Seeya
Dad
Starting last week I gave some of my students a new task to write an original story and then they had to perform it in groups. They only had one week to do so, which is very hard to do for most people. Let alone people whose English is not up to scratch. But, I was pleasantly surprised at the results. Basically, what most of them did was take an old story and change the plot. Which worked very well!
One group took the Spider-man story and changed him into the feirce and almightly SNAKE-FACE MAN!! This is story of a man who was bitten by a radioactive snake and got great snake powers. Including the power to have no arms and legs and squirm around after villains. Criminals watch out! Snake-Face Man may slither after you. In the end it turned out that the police took care of the crooks and Snake-Face Man's wallet was stolen. We had a good time with this one and I even got to make a cameo appearance as one of the policemen.
Another group adapted the characters of Harry Potter (which is immensely popular here) and had a story about a birthday party. They made a cake appear out of nowhere and sat down and gave a lesson about sharing. THE RESULT: I ate all the cake. mua ha ha ha!!
The best story I have seen so far is where one group combined the story of Snow White and Cinderella. We see the main character the beautiful Snow White, who was played by a tall chinese teenager in a dress. He was hunched over, carrying a basket, skipping clumsily and had not shaved for a few days. Snow White said in her beautiful, deep voice "I like the apple very much, oh, I am poison-ed" Faint. The guy actually hit his head against a wall as he fell and he passed out for a few minutes. So the realism was fantastic. Prince Charming was also played by a girl. "Snow White, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen." Snow: "THANK YOU!! KISS ME!!" Laughed my ass off over this one.
So anyway thats what I do for a living. I'll keep you updated on the plays as they happen. I'll bring my camera next time I think. Maybe I can start a stage show of not so attractive transvestites.
Later, from the almighty director of amateurish productions.
Andy
COMMENTS:
Harry: 04/04/2004 -
Andy,
This sounds like a lot of fun.
Are the traditional fairy stories already known there - or are they part of the curriculum material?
By the way our email is back up as you probably would have guessed.
Seeya
Dad
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